


do i wanna know?

by ztazziia



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Boys In Love, Breaking Up & Making Up, Confessions, Declarations Of Love, Drunk!George, Drunken Confessions, Friends to Lovers, Getting Back Together, Light Angst, M/M, Online Relationship, Online Romance, Phone Calls & Telephones, References to Arctic Monkeys, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:43:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27660188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ztazziia/pseuds/ztazziia
Summary: george misses clay and finds himself getting drunk every single day that they are apart. one night it all just gets too much and suddenly he finds himself calling his ex. but does george wanna know if clay is feeling the same way?or, george and clay getting back together is expressed through the lyrics of "do i wanna know?"
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 63





	do i wanna know?

**Author's Note:**

> hi, all! :)
> 
> this is heavily inspired by the song "do i wanna know?" by the arctic monkeys and it contains lyrics and multiple references to the song so i highly suggest you listen to it before or even while you read this. the parts in italic represent either the lyrics from the song or the references to it.
> 
> enjoy.

George never meant to get this drunk, in fact, he can't even really remember the process of getting drunk. His days had become an endless cycle, every single day blurring into one all because of a man in Florida. Because of this certain man, George had been getting out of bed in the early evening, making himself some sort of dinner and then going out to get drunk in random bars in London. All because he wanted to forget what had happened between the two lovers and because he didn't want to be sober when the realisation of him now being completely alone hit him. So now because of this man, George was stumbling out of some random bar in London trying to find his way to a park across the road. He had seen this park before and had made a mental note to bring Clay to it when he finally came to visit the other. He remembers seeing couples going on walks with each other and just being in love and he remembers not only wishing but desperately wanting that to be him and his boyfriend.However, George couldn't see himself being with Clay in that park anytime soon.

The brit found a cold bench to sit on when he finally made his way into the park, throwing himself down onto the metal as he sighed, his mind running a million miles an hour. His body showed every sign of being drunk: _the bright scarlet colour his cheeks were painted,_ the hazy eyes, the inability to control his limbs. Yet, somehow his thoughts were almost completely sober. He got this drunk to try and drown out Clay and still he couldn't help but think about him. What an asshole he was, breaking up with George for no reason other than a stupid argument about his and Nick's friendship. So selfish. So unreasonable. So Clay. The elder knew that the American was being self-centred and yet he couldn't rid his thoughts of him, Clay sticking around _as if he was stuck in George's teeth._

*******

George stared into the distance, the bright amber hue of a streetlight illuminated the path towards where his parents lived. Many memories were created in that house. It's where George started his Twitch and Youtube channel, where he gained an inkling of fame and most importantly it was where he talked to Clay for the first time. He remembers it well, actually, he remembers almost every single little detail of it very well. The way the younger announced his name so confidently as if he was proving his worth to the other, showing George that _he had some aces up his sleeve._ Clay was right to announce his name proudly because he had so much of a grasp over the elder and for a long time had no idea about it. The other had _fallen in so deep_ for the American and Clay didn't even know.

His head buzzed as he thought back to the start of his and Clay's friendship. Stupid bits about the two dating during the streams, the fanart about the pair, the fanfics wrote about their relationship. George bathed in the fan's wishes for the two to date and he had to stop himself from saying too much in his steams. It's funny because the elder of the pair remembers nearly every single little detail about their relationship but he can't seem to remember when their relationship turned from platonic to romantic. Perhaps it was when the bits containing the two began to feel too real or when Clay began to compliment George just a little too much or maybe it was when Nick began to pick up on the two's weird dynamic. George still can't exactly pinpoint when everything changed but he just knows that all he wanted was for _Clay to stick around forever._

*******

_The elder had dreamt about him nearly every single night this week._ Every part of his day was consumed by him and every little thought was usually about him. He watched as the streetlight he had been focusing on began to flicker causing the pavement only mere meters away to be plunged into darkness every couple of seconds. The lights around this block used to cut out quite a lot when he was a kid, seems as if the council still hadn't fixed them, typical. He struggled but eventually, George found himself on his unstable and unbalanced feet again. He didn't know where they would take him but he could only follow their directions as he was simply too tired to think otherwise. He staggered his way towards the wall across the road but in an opposite direction from the bar he was just in. He leant against the classic British brick wall, again sighing as he threw his head back. _"Why did I have to keep so many secrets?"_

His feet carried him towards the flickering light, obviously on a path of familiarity as they seemed to be carrying him to his beloved parent's house. _He hummed the song that reminded him of Clay, the song that had been on repeat every single day since the younger had left him._ The melody calmed him and the beat usually welcomed him when he stumbled into his apartment _as he spilled his drink all over his settee before climbing into bed and falling asleep to the lyrics in his still half-drunk head_. He closed his eyes as he thought of him. Dirty blonde hair, green eyes, beautiful smile, Clay. _He should call him._ But George was too afraid. _Did he wanna know if the other missed him too? Why didn't he stay with him, the Brit was kinda hoping that he would stay just a little longer_. He hoped that his boyfriend would put up with his awful jokes and stupid pranks for maybe another month or two. _All George wanted to do right now was to just crawl right back to Clay. He should call him._

_He had only had a few_ but of course, he was thinking of calling his ex. _He always got this way._ His ex, oh how it hurt him to classify Clay as his ex. As if he was in the other's past and was never allowed out of it. _But George knew he was too busy being Clay's to fall for anyone new,_ it would always be this way. He laughed to himself while he stumbled down the pavement, getting closer to the flickering light. He tried to be careful with his footing but every so often he would lose his balance and would have to grab the wall beside him for support. He didn't trip and fall as he did for Clay. He didn't have to crawl back to his feet like he was _crawling back_ to Clay. George grabbed his phone out his back pocket, the screen slightly smashed as he had thrown it out of anger a couple of days back. His lock screen was still a picture of his and his old boyfriend's Minecraft characters standing together, the closest thing that he had to a picture with the other. His thumb hovered over the phone icon as his mind was filled with liquid confidence and tons of adrenaline, _he had the guts to do this._ And before he could stop himself he heard a smooth accented voice greet him.

*******

"George? It's like four in the morning in London. What do you want?"

"Clay." George breathed into the phone, soothed by the sound of the other's voice. He had missed Clay saying his name.

"C'mon George, what the fuck do you want?" The other raised his voice slightly, he was already getting impatient. The younger had become immune to this slightly annoying tone of the elder's. It was the tone used in most of the arguments the pair had and the tone used when the other broke up with him. 

_"I've been wondering if your heart's still open and if so, what time it shuts?"_ George's words were only somewhat slurred but enough to tell that he was considerably drunk. Clay hated when he was drunk, mainly because he became too affectionate or began to overshare. But the younger never controlled him, he allowed the elder to do as he pleased.

"We've been over this..." The American sighed before muttering several curse words under his breath causing the other to smile. George knew that his ex only swore when he was mad or under pressure, he wondered what he was feeling now. Had the Brit made him angry by calling in the early hours or had he made him flustered by once again declaring his love. "We're over and you know why. All because _you kept so many secrets from me_ and all because you began to priortise Nick over me."

_"Simmer down, Clay."_ The intoxicated of the two dragged the other's name out simply to buy time so he could think about what he wanted to say to him. It was true that George had kept many secrets from the other but he knew it was the for the greater good of their relationship. Look what had happened when all the secrets had come out, the two had officially parted ways. Clay didn't need to know why the elder couldn't sleep at night and Clay definitely did not need to know about George and Wilbur's past relationship. But the Brit definitely wasn't prioritising Nick over his ex-boyfriend, in fact, he was receiving advice from Nick in regards to his and Clay's relationship. He simply needed a friend to talk to who wasn't his partner. "Just, just... _Pucker up._ I want to kiss you right now."

"What? Where did th-"

_"I'm sorry to interrupt."_ It was George's time to raise his voice over the phone and while doing so he heard a faint snicker escape the other's mouth. Of course, only he would find the elder's frustration funny. "It's just, _I feel like I'm always on the cusp of trying to kiss you._ And then I realise I can't because you're there and I'm here. I want to see you Clay and I want to fix things. Please. _Do you feel the same as I do?"_

Silence met George's bold statement that he directed towards the younger. He knew he could come out with these things because he was drunk with no filter and a lot of liquid confidence but he actually was being genuine. Most of the frustrations from George's side of the relationship came about because he couldn't go visit Clay. The younger promised that he would fly to the U.K. to meet up with the elder and Wilbur but then cancelled because "something came up". He told George that he would buy a plane ticket for him to fly to Florida for their anniversary and then apparently he completely forget about it. All the Brit wanted to do was to be able to kiss his boyfriend or simply just see him in real life, not over Discord or FaceTime. Was that such a crime?

_"George, we could be together if you wanted to?_ I can buy you a plane ticket and fly you out here. I want to see you too and I want to fix things. _You should know that this feeling flows both ways._ I miss you. I love you."

"Are you being serious? Clay, do not fucking lead me on again with fake promises and pretend meet-ups. Please. Just let me come over there." The elder pleaded over the telephone line with tears clouding his eyes slightly. He wanted to be happy about Clay's confession but he didn't want to get his hopes up. He had heard this offer from him way too many times before to truly believe if the other was being truthful or not. But there was something about the way that the other spoke that just felt so genuine this time.

"I am being serious. I promise."

_"Clay, we both know that the nights are mainly made for saying things you can't say tomorrow day. Do you want me crawling back to you?"_

"Yes. Yes, I do."

* * *

**__**

**_Your call has been terminated._ **

**  
**


End file.
